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SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC061 September 2022 - Winners announced

Thematic Songwriting Competition - recurrence: monthly
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Mister Fox
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SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC061 September 2022 - Voting until 01-OCT-2022 23:59 UTC+2/CEST

#101

Post by Mister Fox »

A Future in Noise wrote:
Tue Sep 27, 2022 16:00 CEST
(And your list - is it on its way?)
@J.Golden12345 already gave initial feedback and cast a vote with post #96. This is but an update/slightly more detailed feedback.

Maybe it can be re-edited into one post, and I might clean up the forum after. I triple check all votes after the deadlines anyway.
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Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC061 September 2022 - Voting until 01-OCT-2022 23:59 UTC+2/CEST

#102

Post by GamaGama »

It is really difficult to rank among the songs presented: they are of good / excellent quality.
To help me, I decided to assign:
1-10 points to the "fantasy". It's the hardest thing about a song: if there is no fantasy there is no song!
1-6 points to interpretation / performance, which is very important but less important than fantasy. With the help of someone (for example a singer or a musician / arranger) it is possible to solve the problem of interpretation / performance.
1-3 points to the sounds / mix part which (if lacking) is easily solved: with the possible help of a good technician / producer you can fix (almost) everything.
I think that to have a hit it is essential to have a valid song: it will have happened to everyone to hear a song played badly with a guitar and voice and perceive that it will be (or is already) a success. For this reason I have given priority to the imagination.

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J.Golden12345
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Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC061 September 2022 - Voting until 01-OCT-2022 23:59 UTC+2/CEST

#103

Post by J.Golden12345 »

Actually, I did that, also added my production notes and process in my original post 3 days ago.
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KukoBass
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Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC061 September 2022 - Voting until 01-OCT-2022 23:59 UTC+2/CEST

#104

Post by KukoBass »

First and foremost, thank you all for your feedback. I really appreciate it and will try to implement them in future projects and/or future edits of my past productions.

So many different ideas and styles.

Here is my feedback:
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My vote

A lot of the entries are a tie for me, so it was hard to give them a ranking. The ranking does not do the songs justice.
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nanocats
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Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC061 September 2022 - Voting until 01-OCT-2022 23:59 UTC+2/CEST

#105

Post by nanocats »

Just so everyone knows we hate rating with points because the truth is we really just like the process of listening to all the different songs and being a part of this community of creative music makers.

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Music on the way to Oblivion
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Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC061 September 2022 - Voting until 01-OCT-2022 23:59 UTC+2/CEST

#106

Post by EsteveCorbera »

Hello everyone,
I leave my comments below.
I also want to thank you for the comments I have made so far.
Thank you so much

Arelem - Here For You
Pretty conventional rock theme, but functional. The guitars sound good but the drums a bit artificial. The lead vocal lacks strength, maybe a little more prominent. And when they sound doubled, they sound a little out of tune.
I'm sorry but I don't know enough English to appreciate the lyrics of the song.

Rich_Rath_All_Empty
It has a country style. Voices try to be distorted or dubbed. I'm not convinced by the echo you put on the voices. They make a strange effect. The voices, and at some point the guitars, need to match the tempo. The guitars seem to be apart of the song for a moment.
There are still things to polish, but it's a good song.

PocketSunlight_NeverEnough
More rock theme. Dubbed voices, in this case, sound good. I have little to say, because I found your work to be very good. To add something, I'd say go over the drums and maybe do some other variation during the song.

aFutureInNoise_MentalHealth
Song in your style. It reminds me of other songs of yours. I like the atmosphere of the voice, the strings, the organ... it creates a great accompaniment. It's a pity that maybe the voice needs to be tuned. The mix looks good to me.

OlliH_Miten-jouduinkaan-tahan-mukaan
I like to recognize your voice, but this time it's different again. With the voice you make a typical inflection of your songs. That's okay. You have your own style. But you always bring a touch of originality to your subjects. Well done sound. Good placement of the instruments. you have level I have to learn from you.

GamaGama_FakeJam(aica)
Nice pun on the theme name. And yes, women for being a fake jam session and a festive warm country touch. But it sounds a bit artificial to me. The sleep selection lacks something. He looks like the typical orchestra man who goes to the dance halls to liven up the party and they do everything, play, sing, etc.

KukoBass_Depression_V2
I like the intro and the thing promises when the trumpet sounds. The sound of low mid frequencies, with PC speakers, sounds bad. It gets nasty. On the other hand, it sounds better with headphones. I like the trumpet sound, it gives the right atmosphere to the song. The voices are perhaps too distorted for my taste. You could do more variations on the bass.

Dear David John - Love Takes
Very calm song. It's a pity that my English is very weak because I was left with the desire to know what you say. I like the LOFI touch with the vinyl click. i love your song bravo

TheNanoCats_Good_Enough
I like the more electronic tone this month. Good mix, I love the delay of the voice to the right. Maybe more variation is needed. Well built sound.
Quina il·lusió trobar algú que parli català també. Jo sóc de Granollers, i tu? A veure si ens tornem a veure per aquí.
"Shaker!" M'encanta

J.Golden12345-In my remains
Sound achieved good mix Several LOFI type pieces, very modern. I wouldn't know what to tell you to improve your production. Maybe equalize a high-pitched sound that sounds at the end of the track.

aurelien.c_DissociatedIdentity
It reminds me of a soundtrack, because you don't follow any 'normal' structure. But at the end of it all, not much happens, or yes, but all disconnected. But it has magic for the original.

(translated with google)

Thank you all

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SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC061 September 2022 - Voting until 01-OCT-2022 23:59 UTC+2/CEST

#107

Post by Mister Fox »

A friendly reminder:
We're in the final 24 hours to submit your feedback and cast your vote.


Please don't let yourself be put at a disadvantage by not participating. The Songwriting Competition lives from the given feedback towards each other. Outside feedback is welcome, of course.
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A Future in Noise
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Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC061 September 2022 - Voting until 01-OCT-2022 23:59 UTC+2/CEST

#108

Post by A Future in Noise »

I just updated my post on page 2 with what equipment I have used. Sorry for the delay. Feedback and my votes coming soon.
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A Future in Noise
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Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC061 September 2022 - Voting until 01-OCT-2022 23:59 UTC+2/CEST

#109

Post by A Future in Noise »

aurelien.c

This piece of music (whether 'song' is the right term or not?) very well describes what you could call dissociated identity. I usually don't like when the snare is panned anywhere else than center, but in this case it's a good idea to let the drums leave the “stage” to the right together with the brass instrument. The different motifs replace each other in a smooth way. But why a mono reverb after the organ? Because of the eccentricity of this piece of music, and the fact it's carried out so well, this is my number one for this month.


KukoBass

When I heard your song for the first time, I was not really sure what it was I heard in my earbuds, from my phone. I was walking around in town, but then when I checked afterwards, I saw it was Depression. (And maybe this is the right way to form an opinion – listen the way you normally do instead of sitting down, deeply concerned about trying to listen carefully and say something smart?)

Well I liked your song as I was crossing streets and walking on pavements. Now that I'm sitting in front of my monitors, I still like it. Is the bass in the beginning an organ? As has already been said: for example, between 1:42-1:48, the voice (“depression is a little voice in your head ...”) and the trumpet almost seems to try to drown each other out. I don't know how to solve this. Simply let the trumpet be silent – let him walk away a few meters from the mick (more room reverb)?

If it wasn't for the spoken words, I'd perceive this rather as thoughtful music, not gloomy or depressed. Drums appear a little late though, IMO, and you don't really need them. The “thoughtfulness” of this whole thing does not make me feel there is too little variation, even without drums.


Esteve Corbera

I like this composition as a whole, especially how you have handled the slightly sad and dreamy sampled voice. It actually made me think of The great gig in the sky from the Pink Floyd album The dark side of the moon (although its wordless vocals are more desperate).

But the hi hat, which you said you fixed, is still a little weird in my opinion, with the closed and open hi hat panned differently.

Some days ago, when I was doing something (have forgotten what) that artificial women started singing spontanously in my head, and I guess it really was exactly the same notes as in your track. That's a good sign, in a song-competition.


Arelem

Well-crafted e-guitars. Structure of song is good. Enough variation. Vocals fits with the rest.

Toms sound very dull and weak, though. From 2:21 – 2:40 it's very hard to perceive any other drum sound than the snare, which – on the other hand – is a little too loud, IMO.


Rich Rath

Your voice very well suited for rock, but vocals occasionally too loud. Some timing issues. Like the chord (whatever chord it is) you hear for the first time at exactly 0:17 from the start. Good sounding guitars.


Olli H

You know how to handle your guitars and amplifiers (/plugins). But that thing you probably call shaker (I would have guessed rather guiro) – I find it rather disturbing/annoying (like noise). Apart from that the mix is great. Drums couldn't be any better. However, I'm not sure how to label the different parts here – verse, chorus, bridge? The same bridge twice in the same song?

With an accompaniment like this, I would have expected more expressive vocals, though, and then I think of the chorus, in the first place. We all have our limitations, of course, when it comes to our voices. But apart from that, I think I expect the melody for the chorus – if the first chorus starts at 0:25.5 (?) – to be less smooth and more “disjointed” (if it's the right word). Think of the way Bette Midler sings Beast of Burden.


PocketSunlight

Very good vocal performance. Well balanced mix, except for the snare: it should be louder – here and there you can't hear it at all.

It seems to me the structure of this song is: Chorus, bridge, chorus, bridge (extended), and then from 1:40 chorus again but slightly changed (gtr + voice) and once more that bridge. And this is rather unconventional. (Of course I can't prove this. Is it maybe rather verse + chorus than chorus + bridge?)

The voice to the right at the end of every bridge cycle “... mo-o-ore ...” (three falling doted quarter notes I believe) is a good idea, but this is repeated a little too often in exactly the same way. I find the end / outro somewhat abrupt.


GamaGama

Something in the timbre of the bass guitar makes it sound unreal. Apart from that I very much like the bass line, which is a bit staccato-like and not at all sustained all the time.

Well balanced mix. This is rather entrancing – or it would have been unless … I kinda get a feeling this song never really begins. I'm waiting, all the time, for the main melody-instrument or the singer to appear.

Except for 2:13 – 2:21 everything just goes on and on ... Oh yes: modulation 2:44, but why here, at the end? I've noticed myself that it's hard to imitate a real accordion, and yours is too much a synth.


Thenanocats

Of course repeating “I'm not good enough” over and over again could be a relevant thing to do if you want to emphasize that this song is about a person with extremely low self confidence. On the other hand: this is after all music, and I always expect some kind of progression (/development). IMO, more of that is required.

Apart from that this is rhythmically solid. The “drops-out” are cool. This song is thoroughly compressed, I guess, but the loudness and peak limits aren't exceeded, which is a good thing. I'm not sure if I like the rhythm instrument that sounds like a steel drum very much. A warmer sound would have been better, although the theme is gloomy. And once again, the repetitiveness makes me almost annoyed, but perhaps this is the purpose?


Dear David John

You have a great voice. But I really don't understand the accompaniment, almost exclusively consisting of either half note chords or whole note chords. Maybe if this was a demo. Is it? I don't think it's a job for a critic, anyway, to suggest a completely new musical arrangement with more/other instruments.


J.Golden12345

For 30 seconds, maybe, in the beginning of this song, I get a feeling you have done a good job. But then it gets obvious this is “over-compressed” and I'm afraid that this compression even creates a lot of distortion (or doesn't it – is this the way it's supposed to sound?). The voice in the background is so weak it's hard to draw any other conclusion than that you're not supposed to listen to the words.
From the rules and guidelines #3: ”Mixes must not exceed -14,0 LUFS ILk max and -1,0 dBTP max in terms of loudness.” In My Remains is nowhere near these restrictions. My gauges are flashing red. Although this is only going to cause you losing some bonus points, I can't understand why you compressed like this. To be able to judge this entry, I would need a mix where drums don't totally drown everything else out.

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Dear David John
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Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC061 September 2022 - Voting until 01-OCT-2022 23:59 UTC+2/CEST

#110

Post by Dear David John »

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Arelem: I really enjoyed that snare sound you get, its so dam tasty! I would say what I've learnt with Radio work is that a track needs to hit from minute 1. Whether it be with a great vocal or catchy lead. Ive attempted and had push back every time I have tried a "slow start" 1st verse which is where your track kicks off on. I would start an octave up maybe in a nice comfortable range and serve the entire roast beef and all the garnishing's right from the word go. The chorus is very solid and holds a very nice melody. Good stuff

Future Noise: Ive always enjoying a good strong forward vocal and you did that for sure. Also your timbre is addictive man. Really nice sound you got. The lead in the chorus is super strong but I really enjoyed the use of a different additional instrument being the organ. Actually fits really well.
The over mix was great , a touch thin in parts but that just being super sticky about it. Really cool stuff.

Kukoboss: Ey man bro spoken word ey? So I am also a condone of spoken word in fact have released a good handful BUT I always try and use them as a cherry on top and not the whole cake. Maybe a very short section in the pre-chorus before the drop or slap of the chorus. That way it adds dynamic instead of taking away dynamic which can happen so easy. The genre or maybe my lack of "world" music knowledge held me back from enjoying it as much as I could of to be real. You certainly can write lyrics! Hard hitting, honest delivery there man. Great job!


Jack golden
Amazing vocal you're wielding there man. I did not know Mr Fox invited a young STING to the compo! Very cool stuff.

Gamagama:
You are definitely an instrumentalist. Hats off for rounding up all those sounds and forms into one. From an engineering stand point its definitely my favourite. And I will be using it for sure as a reference next time someone drops instruments my way. Great Job

Finally I want to just mention that my lack of activity here is not due to lack if interest. I do not only struggle with focus (typing this much even will render me an anxious mess for a few hours post) BUT I also live on a farm in South Africa. We are enduring some strange times and had to relocate to neighbouring farms on more then one accasion this month. . (Just Google 'SA Farm Take-overs and it should enlighten one)
However, I will do my best to follow all guidelines next round and I look forward to making some banger pop tracks with you all.

Stay Creative
David John
Last edited by Dear David John on Sun Oct 02, 2022 18:53 CEST, edited 1 time in total.
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