This piece of music (whether 'song' is the right term or not?) very well describes what you could call dissociated identity. I usually don't like when the snare is panned anywhere else than center, but in this case it's a good idea to let the drums leave the “stage” to the right together with the brass instrument. The different motifs replace each other in a smooth way. But why a mono reverb after the organ? Because of the eccentricity of this piece of music, and the fact it's carried out so well, this is my number one for this month.
When I heard your song for the first time, I was not really sure what it was I heard in my earbuds, from my phone. I was walking around in town, but then when I checked afterwards, I saw it was Depression. (And maybe this is the right way to form an opinion – listen the way you normally do instead of sitting down, deeply concerned about trying to listen carefully and say something smart?)
Well I liked your song as I was crossing streets and walking on pavements. Now that I'm sitting in front of my monitors, I still like it. Is the bass in the beginning an organ? As has already been said:
for example, between 1:42-1:48, the voice (“depression is a little voice in your head ...”) and the trumpet almost seems to try to drown each other out. I don't know how to solve this. Simply let the trumpet be silent – let him walk away a few meters from the mick (more room reverb)?
If it wasn't for the spoken words, I'd perceive this rather as thoughtful music, not gloomy or depressed. Drums appear a little late though, IMO, and you don't really need them. The “thoughtfulness” of this whole thing does not
make me feel there is too little variation, even without drums.
I like this composition as a whole, especially how you have handled the slightly sad and dreamy sampled voice. It actually made me think of The great gig in the sky from the Pink Floyd album The dark side of the moon (although its wordless vocals are more desperate).
But the hi hat, which you said you fixed, is still a little weird in my opinion, with the closed and open hi hat panned differently.
Some days ago, when I was doing something (have forgotten what) that artificial women started singing spontanously in my head, and I guess it really was exactly the same notes as in your track. That's a good sign, in a song
Well-crafted e-guitars. Structure of song is good. Enough variation. Vocals fits with the rest.
Toms sound very dull and weak, though. From 2:21 – 2:40 it's very hard to perceive any other drum sound than the snare, which – on the other hand – is a little too loud, IMO.
Your voice very well suited for rock, but vocals occasionally too loud. Some timing issues. Like the chord (whatever chord it is) you hear for the first time at exactly 0:17 from the start. Good sounding guitars.
You know how to handle your guitars and amplifiers (/plugins). But that thing you probably call shaker (I would have guessed rather guiro) – I find it rather disturbing/annoying (like noise). Apart from that the mix is great. Drums couldn't be any better. However, I'm not sure how to label the different parts here – verse, chorus, bridge? The same bridge twice in the same song?
With an accompaniment like this, I would have expected more expressive vocals, though, and then I think of the chorus, in the first place. We all have our limitations, of course, when it comes to our voices. But apart from that, I think I expect the melody for the chorus – if
the first chorus starts at 0:25.5 (?) – to be less smooth and more “disjointed” (if it's the right word). Think of the way Bette Midler sings Beast of Burden.
Very good vocal performance. Well balanced mix, except for the snare: it should be louder – here and there you can't hear it at all.
It seems to me the structure of this song is: Chorus, bridge, chorus, bridge (extended), and then from 1:40 chorus again but slightly changed (gtr + voice) and once more that bridge. And this is rather unconventional. (Of course I can't prove this. Is it maybe rather verse + chorus than chorus + bridge?)
The voice to the right at the end of every bridge cycle “... mo-o-ore ...” (three falling doted quarter notes I believe) is a good idea, but this is repeated a little too often in exactly the same way. I find the end / outro somewhat abrupt.
Something in the timbre of the bass guitar makes it sound unreal. Apart from that I very much like the bass line, which is a bit staccato-like and not at all sustained all the time.
Well balanced mix. This is rather entrancing – or it would have been unless … I kinda get a feeling this song never really begins. I'm waiting, all the time, for the main melody-instrument or the singer to appear.
Except for 2:13 – 2:21 everything just goes on and on ... Oh yes: modulation 2:44, but why here, at the end? I've noticed myself that it's hard to imitate a real accordion, and yours is too much a synth.
Of course repeating “I'm not good enough” over and over again could be a relevant thing to do if you want to emphasize that this song is about a person with extremely low self confidence. On the other hand: this is after all music, and I always expect some kind of progression (/development). IMO, more of that is required.
Apart from that this is rhythmically solid. The “drops-out” are cool. This song is thoroughly compressed, I guess, but the loudness and peak limits aren't exceeded, which is a good thing. I'm not sure if I like the rhythm instrument that sounds like a steel drum very much. A warmer sound would have been better, although the theme is gloomy. And once again, the repetitiveness makes me almost annoyed, but perhaps this is the purpose?
Dear David John
You have a great voice. But I really don't understand the accompaniment, almost exclusively consisting of either half note chords or whole note chords. Maybe if this was a demo. Is it? I don't think it's a job for a critic, anyway, to suggest a completely new musical arrangement with more/other instruments.
For 30 seconds, maybe, in the beginning of this song, I get a feeling you have done a good job. But then it gets obvious this is “over-compressed” and I'm afraid that this compression even creates a lot of distortion (or doesn't it – is this the way it's supposed to sound?). The voice in the background is so weak it's hard to draw any other conclusion than that you're not supposed to listen to the words.
From the rules and guidelines #3: ”Mixes must not exceed -14,0 LUFS ILk max and -1,0 dBTP max in terms of loudness.” In My Remains
is nowhere near these restrictions. My gauges are flashing red. Although this is only going to cause you losing some bonus points, I can't understand why you compressed like this. To be able to judge this entry, I would need a mix where drums don't totally drown everything else out.