2024-MAR-01 Info: Check out Songwriting Competition 079 if you're into "Synthwave" music making.

SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC029 January 2020 - Winners announced

Thematic Songwriting Competition - recurrence: monthly
Olli H
Posts: 207
Joined: Fri Dec 29, 2017 16:08 CET
Location: Finland

Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC029 January 2020 - Voting until 01-FEB-2020 11:59pm GMT+1/CET

#51

Post by Olli H »

My comments to bonus track by Canese

And that is an efficient opening, I like the resonating tail of the reverb.
But as a hasty old man, I feel the intro is a bit too long. But I'm sure that the target audience of this song can take a longer doses without problem.

Vox is nicely weaved into beat, it adds and doesn't spoil the beat.

1.30 there's a speed up and anticipation of a energy level change, but ... no real drop or change comes.

I guess you run out of time. But I feel that if you had had more time you might have turned this one to be a winner. But now it feels more like quick experiments or tests for a future song.

Sounds are interesting all through the song, but I guess if you had introduced drier versions of instrument's for example during the drop, it might have given a new charisma and sonic reference to those roomy sounds during the post drop phase of the song.
MarkS

Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC029 January 2020 - Voting until 01-FEB-2020 11:59pm GMT+1/CET

#52

Post by MarkS »

The feedback:

SirCool, the bass sound that starts at 0:03 seems a bit quicker than other instruments, try maybe to slow down it tempo a bit to match other instruments. As a whole, it sounds like a experimentation and a bit of dubstep music. Maybe some changes in arrangement will do the thing.

becsei_gyorgy, the house/techno groove goes very well, but i think vocal phrases need to be rearranged in different places. to me they sound not so well placed. The instrumental part sounds like melody from my childhood, but the percussion does the right thing.

Clueless, a good electronic tune and nothing to add.

Olli H, a jazz mood i hear here. At the beginning i did not understand the title of the song, but after hearing industrial pad/synth sound it explains all.

The Exponent, some drum&bass groove, but at the end it goes do downtempo. an interesting approach i hear in your song.

Tj Shredder, some horror mood, or should i say some sf movie speech. Maybe you should add some percussion and a few new instruments to call it a song. At least a simple melody playing to this, will make it more interesting.

The top:
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Olli H
Posts: 207
Joined: Fri Dec 29, 2017 16:08 CET
Location: Finland

Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC029 January 2020 - Voting until 01-FEB-2020 11:59pm GMT+1/CET

#53

Post by Olli H »

MarkS wrote:
Wed Jan 29, 2020 22:29 CET
Olli H, a jazz mood i hear here. At the beginning i did not understand the title of the song, but after hearing industrial pad/synth sound it explains all.
I’m glad you noticed the basic idea

Dementia patient dives little by little to his/her older memories. He/she just keeps playing that old tune without noticing how the evident damage - that everyone else verifies - gets worse:
- his/her brains are eaten bit by bit by the disease
- his/her disease causes bad suffering for the closest person

… and the old song that everyone has hear hundreds of times is repeated over and over, and that makes the damage even worse
becsei_gyorgy
Posts: 171
Joined: Sat Nov 09, 2019 19:55 CET
Location: Szeged, Hungary

Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC029 January 2020 - Voting until 01-FEB-2020 11:59pm GMT+1/CET

#54

Post by becsei_gyorgy »

Everybody made very good sounds, congratulations.
But in general I realized the most people played mostly with drums and/or rhythms. They were very good attempts, but for me I think a lot of the "songs" were too minimalistic. As if it were just a sample challenge, not a songwriting competition.
In general, a little more melody (and/or synth) and well made arrangement would have been better IMO. But that's my taste of course. :smile:

:arrow: OlliH_Creeping-Dementia-Blues
Good sounds, nice job.
0:41 good sound effects, they add some variety and interest to the song and the story.
Nice progression, good evolving story in the song. They have few elements, but they are very well built through the song. Overall a good song with a good organ play. (I wish I could play like that some day.)
But.. little bit short, because I would have listened a little more. :smile:

:arrow: SirCool
Harsh, 'in the face' dark intro, nice percussion elements, then good bass line, I liked.
1:03- the riser - I loved it :-)
1:14 Trailerish braams - good job, very nice
After the beginning, I expected something else. I waited for more energy, more varied rhythm.
Overall the sounds are very(!) good.
The start is very good and promising, later the promise is not fulfilled.
I think maybe it's just a half-finished song.
I'm very curious about the video, I want making those sounds too. :-)

:arrow: Clueless_Form79
Nice rhythm, good vibe. Maybe some more shorter (cleaner?) sound (less reverb, faster transients) would be better in some places. Some sounds are much "reverby" for me.
0:54 great sounds, great "chorus" part. Listening all the submissions in the contest this "chorus" was the best part for me. Nice sound chops, I liked.
1:20-The slow part is not my favourite but for slowing it's OK.
Overall very unique and special because of the chorus part. Many times that is enough for a good song. It's nice idea, but here we also have got a great hook, a good idea, but it hasn't developed into a whole song either.

:arrow: Tj_Shredder_if_we_have sinned
Nice play with the voices.
Like a horror movie, good sounds. I'd add maybe more atmospheric subtle background to the piece.
But it's pretty scary anyway. :-)
Very nice esoteric eastern vibe at the end but that's not enough for the song IMO.
Overall: for me missing almost some nice athmospheric background. Just with the voice samples the "song" is so "empty".
I listened your soundcloud page and there are nice songs with nice backgrounds. Here I would have expected something like that.

:arrow: MarkS-The Question
Overall nice drum parts, nice sounds.
Nice promising start, nice sounds, good reverb.
But the bass line starts very late I think (1:03) --> In the beginning the drums are good, but not varied enough. I'd give some bass sooner.
Then nice vocal sample, good rhythm. I'd add a synth element to the top with simple nice melody line. (or just some pluck or glockenspiel).
That would give a little variation and more interest to it.
(It might be very old music, but with a repetitive, higher melody line it could be a Kraftwerk style song - the robotic voice sound and drums are already in place :smile: .

:arrow: The Exponent_Yatra
Nice chill start.
Absolute good sound design - as usual as I read :smile: . Very good sounding, clean, nice mix.
From 0:34: Simple but great motif.
The melody line is nice. Not an "overproduced" or" overdeveloped" song. It's elegant, esthetic. A good example of not needing strange sounds, uncommon progressions, dissonant or boring elements for a professionally made modern song.
What can I say more to a pro? :wink:

------------------------------------------------------
:arrow: canese - Hy
Nice rhythmic elements, nice low drums. For me missing some high percussion elements, metal barrell or something.
It would be nice those elements at the end. With fast triple rhythm for example.
The song like an industrial techno song. Repetitive but in a good way. I liked. For me this song was at least in the top 3.

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Mister Fox
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Site Admin
Posts: 3111
Joined: Fri Mar 31, 2017 16:15 CEST
Location: Berlin, Germany

Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC029 January 2020 - Voting until 01-FEB-2020 11:59pm GMT+1/CET

#55

Post by Mister Fox »

A friendly reminder:
We're in the final 24 hours to give feedback and cast your vote
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The Exponent
Posts: 98
Joined: Mon Feb 18, 2019 14:46 CET

Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC029 January 2020 - Voting until 01-FEB-2020 11:59pm GMT+1/CET

#56

Post by The Exponent »

Hey Everyone!
Great effort by all and a big round of applause for everyone who took up this challenge :hug:

Given that there was no set theme/genre this month, it was very interesting to see the creative approaches and decisions everyone took this time. I'm humbled by the feedback I received from most of the participants, except for the one whose standard/taste I failed to meet. I will definitely try and put more effort and thought into my tracks, if I participate again.

Here's my subjective feedback:

:arrow: OlliH
Convincing sound design, the instruments sound the way they should, good job. I enjoyed the groove and the composition is simple yet nice.
The mix is mostly balanced, mostly because the instrumentation is so sparse, but it's all good. I like the low-end, but there seems to be a lack of high-end in your track. The track itself seems like some elevator music, and doesn't have much of a direction or much of a melodic/sonic development. Not a song I'd listen to again and again, but it's enjoyable as a one-time listen.

:arrow: becsei_gyorgy
Classic techno(ish?) beat and I'm impressed with the overall balance of the sounds. I like the overall instrumentation quite a lot, but the kick is a bit too clicky for my personal taste and made the track a tad less enjoyable for me. Interesting use of the vocals, but I think the song gets a bit repetitive melodically and could do with a shorter track length. Or otherwise, a nice interlude or change of pacing/mood would really make this more interesting, effective and keep the listener more engaged. But a really nice effort overall, good job! :tu:

:arrow: SirCool
Very dark mood right away. I like your overall sound design, and loved the groove. Your track has a very soundtrack-ish quality. The low-mids seem to be a bit muddy to me. Some EQ cuts around the low-mids and some grit to the bass (either through some distortion/saturation or maybe a saw wave) might benefit the track. Up until min 1:00 I really enjoyed the track but then the vocal chop riser seemed a bit out of place and changed the feel of the track for me. The brass hits/braams (?) need some more heft/grit and reverb to make them stand out more I think. Cool wobble bass sounds and a nice groove during the drop. A great effort and I'm looking forward to listening to more of your music. :tu:

:arrow: Tj_Shredder
I think this is the most interesting track for me in this round personally as I'd personally have never expected/thought of this sort of an approach to songwriting. This track has an eclectic soundtrack quality to it. It's not a song song per se, but as a concept it works very well for me. I have nothing more too add :clap: Well done! :tu:

:arrow: Clueless
Interesting tribal groove and nice percussion work. Sound design is interesting and I appreciate the melodic elements that you chose. The problem I have with the track is that it is very repetitive given the style of music that you produced. The sonic/rhythmic elements vary very little to hold my interest for too long. If you probably changed the pacing/groove or time signature of the drums or played with the tempo or maybe change the melodic elements, perhaps it could be improved more in my opinion. Mix wise seems okay to me. It's a very nice effort sound design-wise to use the vocal sample for all of the sounds, so well done for that :tu:

:arrow: MarkS
Interesting choice of samples for the various instruments but I feel you could've processed them better. E.g. the kick has no thump, the hi-hats/shakers seem a bit off and unnatural sounding. I understand that you might be trying to use these as unconventional percussion, but the rhythm is so basic (4 on the floor) that this starts to sound uninteresting over the course of time. Also I think some of your instrumentation seems out of tune with each other, e.g the bass and the pad type sound around min 2:47 onward. Overall there's very little development of the track in terms of rhythm/melody/harmony. Mix wise it's okay, but there are some fundamental flaws in terms of tuning, development/variation and processing that makes this track slightly less enjoyable. But kudos for the effort and I'm looking forward to hearing more from you! :phones:

My votes:
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SirCool

Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC029 January 2020 - Voting until 01-FEB-2020 11:59pm GMT+1/CET

#57

Post by SirCool »

Hi,
A big thank you to everyone for your feedback on my composition.
Above all I really appreciate everyone's research (myself included) and I also find it very difficult to give an opinion on each other's work, but let's try:

>> The Exponent:
"Yatra"
Atmosphere reminiscent of dance songs from the early 90s (Nice wink).
Evolution of the title with the rise in power, the bridge which calms the general atmosphere then the title which starts again in a different rhythm… I like it.
10 pts

Clueless:
"Form79"
Good general atmosphere. Title that evolves throughout the progression both in terms of sounds and rithms.
9 pts

>> becsei_gyorgy:
"Perfect Life (Dark Boughs)
Super evolution of the title and clear and wide sounds. I might have added some harmonic distortion on some of them to see more "Grain". There's a weird thing at 2:32.
8 Pts

>> SirCool:
<no name given>
Clearly unfinished title and all the instruments created have not been used. Good starting idea but needs to be deepened.


>> MarkS wrote:
"The Question"
The atmosphere of the title, with the pedal the theme of the bass which starts on time in the air, is pleasant and interesting. Sensation anyway of a loop that could have evolved in power or have some variations throughout the title.
7 pts

>> Olli H:
"Creeping Dementia Blues"
Sounds a bit like the previous toy keyboard, especially for drum sounds, maybe because of the lack of velocity variation and too strict quantization.
Still work on the design of sounds.
6 pts

>> Tj Shredder wrote:
"... if we have sinned"
Even if I hear the evolution of soundscapes and effects, I don't understand the connection with the idea of ​​Music.
5 pts

>> canese:
"Hy"
A good Jean-Michel Jarre atmosphere at times. Create tension, could be in the wrapping of an SF film.
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Last edited by SirCool on Sat Feb 01, 2020 18:03 CET, edited 3 times in total.
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The Exponent
Posts: 98
Joined: Mon Feb 18, 2019 14:46 CET

Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC029 January 2020 - Voting until 01-FEB-2020 11:59pm GMT+1/CET

#58

Post by The Exponent »

SirCool wrote:
Sat Feb 01, 2020 17:45 CET
Hi,
Above all I really appreciate everyone's research (myself included) and I also find it very difficult to give an opinion on each other's work, but let's try:

>> The Exponent:
"Yatra"
Atmosphere reminiscent of dance songs from the early 90s (Nice wink).
Evolution of the title with the rise in power, the bridge which calms the general atmosphere then the title which starts again in a different rhythm… I like it.
10 pts

Clueless:
"Form79"
Good general atmosphere. Title that evolves throughout the progression both in terms of sounds and rithms.
9 pts

>> becsei_gyorgy:
"Perfect Life (Dark Boughs)
Super evolution of the title and clear and wide sounds. I might have added some harmonic distortion on some of them to see more "Grain". There's a weird thing at 2:32.
8 Pts

>> SirCool:
<no name given>
Clearly unfinished title and all the instruments created have not been used. Good starting idea but needs to be deepened.
7 pts

>> MarkS wrote:
"The Question"
The atmosphere of the title, with the pedal the theme of the bass which starts on time in the air, is pleasant and interesting. Sensation anyway of a loop that could have evolved in power or have some variations throughout the title.
6 pts

>> Olli H:
"Creeping Dementia Blues"
Sounds a bit like the previous toy keyboard, especially for drum sounds, maybe because of the lack of velocity variation and too strict quantization.
Still work on the design of sounds.
5 pts

>> Tj Shredder wrote:
"... if we have sinned"
Even if I hear the evolution of soundscapes and effects, I don't understand the connection with the idea of ​​Music.

>> canese:
"Hy"
A good Jean-Michel Jarre atmosphere at times. Create tension, could be in the wrapping of an SF film.
► Show Spoiler
I don't know if it's intentional or a mistake, but you can't vote for yourself (You have given yourself 7 points). You need to vote for the other participants, so in case you want to vote someone's entry the lowest, just give them the 6th position and 5 points.
SirCool

Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC029 January 2020 - Voting until 01-FEB-2020 11:59pm GMT+1/CET

#59

Post by SirCool »

The Exponent wrote:
Sat Feb 01, 2020 17:51 CET

I don't know if it's intentional or a mistake, but you can't vote for yourself (You have given yourself 7 points). You need to vote for the other participants, so in case you want to vote someone's entry the lowest, just give them the 6th position and 5 points.
Thanks, I asked the question.
my bad.
User avatar
The Exponent
Posts: 98
Joined: Mon Feb 18, 2019 14:46 CET

Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC029 January 2020 - Voting until 01-FEB-2020 11:59pm GMT+1/CET

#60

Post by The Exponent »

SirCool wrote:
Sat Feb 01, 2020 17:56 CET
The Exponent wrote:
Sat Feb 01, 2020 17:51 CET

I don't know if it's intentional or a mistake, but you can't vote for yourself (You have given yourself 7 points). You need to vote for the other participants, so in case you want to vote someone's entry the lowest, just give them the 6th position and 5 points.
Thanks, I asked the question.
my bad.
That's okay, but I had answered your question if you see the previous page.
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