2024-MAR-01 Info: Check out Songwriting Competition 079 if you're into "Synthwave" music making.

SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC037 September 2020 - Winners announced

Thematic Songwriting Competition - recurrence: monthly
TrojakEW

Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC037 September 2020- Voting until 01-OCT-2020 23:59 UTC+2/CEST

#61

Post by TrojakEW »

GMoneh wrote:
Tue Sep 29, 2020 16:24 CEST
I will start with the disclaimer that I am not an expert at all in this lo-fi hip-hop genre, so my judgements with regards to genre attachment of the tracks might be off.
I also most of the time don't know what I'm doing with regards to composing, performing, mixing or mastering, so take my notes on those topics with a grain of salt too... :P ...
Do not worry I feel the same. I do not know what I'm doing but I do enjoy it. :tu:
GMoneh wrote:
Tue Sep 29, 2020 16:24 CEST
Basically, feel free to ignore everything I say, I don't know what I'm talking about, and I'm not qualified to judge anybody's work... but since the contest requires it, here are my notes:
You do not need to be expert in order to say you like something or not. So anything you say or write here can be helpful. Actually sometime it is better not to be "expert" so you are not judging by some rules that somebody created but by your own judgment that is based on your experience and not somebody else.
Square

Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC037 September 2020- Voting until 01-OCT-2020 23:59 UTC+2/CEST

#62

Post by Square »

Hi everyone, ive finally made it through the entries, sorry it took so long, ive been quite busy lately and it was a stretch to be able to even enter this contest! but im glad i did, ive taken the time to listen to everyones tracks and theres some really good stuff in there. And ya i agree, none of us are judges, but just getting feedback from others from all different levels of knowledge and backgrounds who are interested in the same stuff is always helpful and a tool that is hard to find, as theres no plug in for that! And even giving feedback can really help you look at your own mixes differently too.

Also as im new to this forum, ive taken the time to read the rules, but if ive missed or forgotten anything, other than whats already been pointed out, feel free to let me know ^^

So anyways, here is my list:

canese - In Sepia Swell

Very soundscape and spa like. Nice and floaty. I like the long reverb on the guitars. I found the mix adequate, but lacking in low end (personally). The guitar parts were really nice and the melody fits the track well. The way everything just kinda blends together is quite nice, but there doesnt seem to be any main element that sits down the middle, either way, its a decent track.

Double Tap - Plugin Boutique

Fits genre perfectly. The mix is nice, if i had to look for a critisism, very the bass mid lows seem a bit too present. But other than that the mix (and even with that) the mix sounds very very good. The instruments create a sense of space and calmness as well as interacting in a pleasing way with each other. The cricket sounds just glue it all together. all in all, very enjoyable and a perfect match for the contest and genre!

OlliH - lo-fi-feeling

Very nice reverse verbs. The melodys and the creeping suspense work very well, also the panning is quite nice, it makes a nice big soundstage. The lo fi piano parts fit in very well with a beat that sounds straight outta an alicia keys album. Occasioanaly their seems to be a frequency maybe around 2-4 khz from the piano that sticks out more towards the end. But the mix and the song itself is solid and a very nice entry and i would absolutely listen to this.

Becsei_gyorgy - Faces of Love

From a songwriting standpoint, i like the rhythyms and the melody but the 'hiss' sound on the right channel, although it doesnt have any bad frequencies popping through and the sound itself is mostly soft, it does seem to be a constant distraction to the rest of the track. And the rest of the track is quite good! The digital horns and the clicky percussion with the 'world' instruments and the rambling words all work really well together with a nice progression.

Mellow Browne - Like a Friend

I can see the direction you were trying to go, but it doesnt quite hit with me. The vox, especially towards the end with the autotune part dont quite fit the genre or the tune for me. The drums are also just hitting in a weird way, sounds a bit unbalanced, I do like some of the pumping parts and some of the instrumental frills at the end tho.

TrojakEW - Lone Wanderer

Like the bug sound at the beginning. Overall the track is very nice, well within the genre, and the mix is nice, maybe a bit tad too much around the 4khz region to my ears, i notice it more so when the snare is there, but it is mostly slightly present to my ears. But thats the end of the negative critism. The track is great. I could see myself listening to that to chill, i really like the horns and the ambience at the end. Superbly put together man, and a nice little bit of artwork to go with it as well.

Gruskada - Time to Live

I like the progressive playing style of the guitar, sounds like chill dave gilmour esque type riffs. But the mix is a bit weird for me. the stereo soundscape and the horns stand out as being noticably odd. The bells comin in is quite nice, but everything just seems a bit too seperate, it never really sounds 'together' But as for the melodies they are quite nice and fit well within the genre.

Function Form - This too shall pass

The sounds used are well within the genre and the track sounds lo fi, but could a bit of 'pump or pull' sounds a bit static. Would like to see a bit more width i think. But I do actually quite like the track, its really chill and the pentatonic riffs that come in are well placed and nice, coming towards the end with the guitar and such, the song comes together nicely. The mix feels fuller and the stereo space nice and full. Great way to end.

Blang - Gloomy

I REALLY like this track. From the mix to the execution, its exactly what it should be. Everything fits the title and is both a great Lo-Fi mix and listenable with just enough melody but not too much that the idea of a lofi groove was lost. It had a nice 'pump and pull' to it and I actually cant find a critism. 10/10

Shea - My Lo Fi Sky

This fits the genre quite nicely and the mix is up there with most of what ive heard in the genre. The guitar that stars around 1:08 is a bit loud for me, tho i do like the harmonies when they come it, which seem to tame it a bit, but still has some weird overtones. HOWEVER, i like this track a lot. The sound effects and the part that comes it after 2 minutes is lush. Theres one odd effect that stands out in an odd way like a toaster trying to complain lol but really even with that, i dig this track quite a bit and that part that comes in around 330 in moreish!! Love it! Super chill and i would absolutely listen to this.

GMoneh - Anxiety

This song sounds like having anxiety in the 90s i dunno why. It is true to its name, tho i wouldnt say it fits the genre very well, I think you can use more downtrodden emotional feelings but not so much axious ones as the point of listening is mostly to chill or just bring emotions down. Outside of that the mix sounds very digital lofi, probably why i get a 90s vibe from it.

Lenoard Bowman - Good Morning Dust -

Has a very nintendo vibe to it, gives me feeling of waking up in an old school RPG. I quite like it, the shuffle kind of percussion is quite nice, and the sounds have a nice lofi sound to them which is brought together by a lovely reverb. I think it fits the genre well, the mix is nice, the track is chill and relaxing, if i had to make a critisism, i would say that the section around 2:14 to like 3:05 lasts a bit too long for me, it just seems a bit too much 'up in the air' for too long. but that would be it. Nice track, fits in well.

VCA-089 - Im okay

This sounds a lot like an 80s soundtrack to a movie. I dont think it is really lofi hip hop at all until about the 1:14 mark. But then retreats back towards 80s soundtrack. That being said, i think its a great sounding piece! The mix fits the 80s vibe, the reverb is nice, the 808 sounds nice, its just not so much lo-fi hip hop.

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gruskada
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Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC037 September 2020- Voting until 01-OCT-2020 23:59 UTC+2/CEST

#63

Post by gruskada »

Canese - In sepia swell
I'm feeling the hip-hop vibe here. I like the modern reverb wash effect. The bassline is great, and pulls everything together. The end doesn't match the mood of the song, though.

Square - Finding my Footing
This is an odd one. I love it (especially the stereo effects at :50, and the aggressive bassline), but I'm not sure it fits the genre well. At 1:32 it turns into a reggae-style vibe, taking a pretty drastic turn, without much if any tie-in to the rest of the song. I like the ideas here, though - there are some great moments.

Double Tap - Pugin Boutique
Definitely a relaxed song with some good lo-fi elements, but short on the hip-hop feeling to me. I like the mix - sparse, there's a lot going on, but everything has its place. And really nice bass.

OlliH - Lo-Fi-Feeling
Really nice piano sound, and cool stutter effect. The electric piano sound works well, too. I feel like the drums could be more aggressive to match the genre a bit better, but overall, it works. I really like the relaxed mood, and how nothing fights for your attention.

György Becsei - Faces of Love
You nailed the lo-fi hip hop sound. Perfect match of aggressive beats, with a relaxed mood. The record crackling gets a bit distracting for my tastes. Nice mix, too. You always do a good job of bending a genre to your will, leaving your mark on it, but still sounding like the genre.

MellowBrowne - Like A Friend
Wow - really nice vocals. Sounds radio-ready to me, but it does get a bit repetitive. I like the sidechain compression effect on the synth(?), and low-pass on the drums in the middle section. The auto-tune(?) works well.

TrojakEW - Lone Wanderer
I love everything right up until the horns at :46. It's way too distorted, or something. Very distracting. I like how it's doubled with the piano, though. I do like how the music fits the title - it evokes a person walking around, mind wandering.

Shea - My Lofi Sky
I like this one a lot. Tasty guitar licks, nice mood, good development, and animal sounds that add to the beat. It's also well mixed. It also fits the theme really well. Nice job.

functionform - This Too Shall Pass
Stutter effect is used really well. I like the overall mood, and the guitar work. For me, it doesn't quite fit the lo-fi hip hop theme, though. It's more of a slow jam.

Blang - Gloomy
I like the beat and piano a lot, and the music is very gloomy, like the title. The vocal effects are interesting, but don't help to add to the mood, and distract from the song, in my opinion.

GMoneh - Anxiety
I like the bass sound - very 80's. The genre to me is more film soundtrack. The song is very well put together, though the repeating theme gets a bit boring, even with the embellishments. Though it does get interesting at 3:33. But's is way too much for lofi hip hop.

LeonardBowman - good morning dust
The background noise is very distracting, and doesn't sound like hip hop to me. I like the walking bass, though. The mood to me is relaxed, but a bit unsettling. Maybe that was the goal, but the song actually kind of freaks me out for some reason, tbh.

VCA-089 - I'm Okay
A little light on the lofi hip hop sound to me, but it still works really well. Nice piano work, engaging bassline, without being overpowering, nice modulations. I like the section at 2:20 - are you really ok? :-) But then it settles down again. Very interesting song.
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gruskada
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Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC037 September 2020- Voting until 01-OCT-2020 23:59 UTC+2/CEST

#64

Post by gruskada »

Olli H wrote:
Sat Sep 26, 2020 17:00 CEST
On the other hand the piano feels too repetitive and robotic.
Agree. I ran out of time. I was planning on doing things like adding grace notes, and varying the velocity at the very least.
Olli H wrote:
Sat Sep 26, 2020 17:00 CEST
I wonder if the sax sound's a bit midi.
Yeah, though I was impressed that SaxLab had aftertouch growl. I thought it didn't sound too bad, but yeah, nothing like a real sax player.
Olli H wrote:
Sat Sep 26, 2020 17:00 CEST
That (Fender?) bass sound is excellent.
It's actually IK MODO's Hofner Bass, like the one McCartney plays. I love the sound of this.
TrojakEW wrote:
Tue Sep 29, 2020 12:28 CEST
Now I ussually really like your work but this track sounds it was made in hurry or it really doesn't fit your style.
Both, actually. It was made in three days (I usually take close to the whole month), and I HATE this style, tbh, and I feel like an imposter. I was going to scrap the track entirely but got talked into submitting it by a family member. I don't blame them - it was still an interesting exercise to try and rescue it.
TrojakEW wrote:
Tue Sep 29, 2020 12:28 CEST
Kick have some serious problems regarding mono compatibility. It almost hard left but with some sort of delay that cause problems not to mention it makes track sounds hollow this way. Other instruments trying to add some better stage but that kick break it.
I'm sure it does - I normally get the beat down, then separate it out into different tracks and pan. This time I just used PanMan based on frequency. Don't be like me...

I appreciate the constructive feedback from everyone, but I will be scrapping the song after the contest is over. It was still fun to see how well I could do in a short period of time. I did put a lot of thought and care into the lead guitar, though.
Last edited by gruskada on Fri Oct 02, 2020 12:55 CEST, edited 1 time in total.
Mellow Browne
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Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC037 September 2020- Voting until 01-OCT-2020 23:59 UTC+2/CEST

#65

Post by Mellow Browne »

Hey there,

Thanks for all your words so far. With a hip hop background as a beat maker and rapper this is very interesting to see and to read the feedback from all of you.This is just the way I feel and understand lo fi and all the sub/micro genres of hip hop so please don't take my comments personal.

So, I listened to all the entries and here is my feedback. I was looking for 3 things:
-can I feel that lo fi ambience?
-is it relaxing aka does it make me feel better?
-does it sound like hip hop?

VCA-089 - im okay
The intro sounds very urban, nice. The overall progression sounds boring, but in a good way, this is very relaxing. I like the atmosphere and the overall sound. But in my opinion this is more like a retro /lofi vibe beat, I barely feel the hip hop element here. The mix is good, only the bass seems a bit overdriven. I think you should listen to more sound examples.

Becsei gyorgy - faces of love
The hiss sound is very prominent, I think you should reduce the volume.
Yes, the sounds are very lofi overall, but I don’t get that lofi hip hop feeling with relaxing chords. Your main theme has a hard „street rap“ beat character. The drum programming would fit to a real „banger“ beat. The musicality is not what I usually hear in lofi hip hop. Like I said, yes, this has a hip hop character, but not chilled lofi vibe, its the more aggressive side of hip hop. The part @ 02:00 is nice and has a nice dramatic flavor.
I think you should listen to more sound examples.

Blang - gloomy
Yo, this is what I was looking for, nice beat. Very relaxing atmosphere, I really dig this production, perfect transition/hook part. This is almost perfect, only two things I would change. 1 the drums could be a bit more beefy/louder, they are a bit too clean. And 2: you should definitely bring in some more of that candy guitar you played. Very sweet. A few more notes here and there would definitely bring more extra flavor.

Double tap - pugin boutique
Chilled relaxed vibe with a nice b part/transition.
Lofi vibe: yes the chords and instruments have a nice lofi feeling and tone, but in my opinion the drum programming is way too straight, Im missing that sloppy boom bap rhythm. I find the tail of the snare is „too long“ , I think a really short snap, a clap or maybe a rimshot sound would fit much better and the kick could be louder. Your beat would definitely benefit from a more hip hop groovy drum pattern, even just a regular one from a drum sample pack. This right here has potential.

Function Form - this too shall pass
Has it all: hip hop flavor, lo fi vibe, and a relaxing atmosphere. This sounds like a good starting point to me but overall it doesn’t sound like a finished beat. Its more like an interlude type of beat, nothing with 3 minutes of length. If this beat would stop @ 01:20-01:40 with a fade out I would’ve known the same story you told me in 3 minutes. I understand, you tried to add a highlight with that guitar, but in my opinion it is nothing exciting that lifts this beat to „another level“. It is just a repetition of the first part. And this is the point why it doesn’t sound like a finished beat. Try to shorten it or add something that takes the attention away from the sample you chopped.

GMoneh - anxiety
This sounds very dramatic to me and I can hear you have some musical knowledge , and yes, there is atmosphere but a very dark one. Don’t take it personal, but I don’t think this fits into lo fi. Or let me say like this, I never heard „deep and dramatic“ melodies/chord progressions in lofi hip hop, this genre is known for the good vibe it brings. In my opinion, you should listen again to the music examples, its about a relaxing feeling you get from this genre. The drum programming is more like a „street rap“ type of beat.
From a mixing point of view I would suggest to take closer at the gain staging, instruments are very prominent, drums/kick are/is somewhere in the background.

Gruskada - time to live
The atmosphere and the vibe is what I know from this genre and lo fi hip hop is more that „boring“ music, but I find your piano chords and sax solos too lame (I don’t want be rude here). My „problem“ is the drum programming, its not hip hop enough (or at all for me), neither the rhythm pattern nor the drum sounds. Its also very weird to hear the snare only from the left speaker. I think with a „better/more suitable“ drum pattern (from what I have in mind) this production could be a nice lo fi beat. You wanted to be „versatile“ but I don’t know, somehow its not working „everywhere“ for me, some notes seem to be „off/dissonant“ to me. In sum, this is not really lo fi for me and it doesn’t sound finished yet.

Leonard Bowman - good morning dust
This is nice, very relaxing atmosphere you created. I like the little details in this track, the only thing I don’t like is the length, it could stop somewhere @ 02:15. I understand the transition part, but in my opinion, it kills the vibe. It makes me want to „skip“ the track. Your story is very long with 05:21. Don’t get me wrong because this absolutely what I expect from a lofi beat. Drums could be a bit louder. I don't know, but I feel some dissonance in between the notes you played at the end.

OlliH - lofi feeling
This has some lofi vibe and I can feel what you did there, but the drum programming is a bit too straight in my opinion. Overall mix is ok, drums could be a bit louder. What I don’t like and what really kills the vibe in hip hop is that triplet rhythm but I think its just personal taste. To me its a bit strange to hear a 3/4 beat, it makes some weird breaks and pauses and its hard to get a nice flow pattern (from a rappers point of view).
The overall musicality is not really what I expect in lofi hip hop. This is not really happy and good vibes.

Shea - my lofi sky
This is a nice chord progression, exactly what I know from this genre. I like all those little details you added, the only thing I don’t like is the length, and I know it sounds weird, but because of that it doesn’t sound like a finished beat to me. Your story is too long for me, you are loosing my attention after 3 minutes because the strings you added at the end are not THE element I was waiting for to be THE highlight. All that suspense „just“ for strings? You have a good starting point but in my opinion should rethink your story again and create a nice blending resolution at the end.

Square - finding my footing
I like that non-quantized feeling and I also like that transition part. Nice intro. The drums in the first part could be louder, in comparison to the second part it is really not „there“. Another thing is that wobbling synth that is very annoying, your production would benefit from a more pronounced „J Dilla“ type baseline with a shorter notes.
The second part is a bit more grimey, I can really hear your UK origin.
I’m not sure, yes this has a hip hop character to it, but in my opinion lofi is also about feelings and emotions, I think your track is not chilled enough from a musical point of view. This is more like "random music" with a clown/humoristic factor.

TrojakEW - lone
Wow, that intro is very nice. I like the effects and details you added, and that driving chord progression with A LOT of tension. This catches me emotionally and it gets very deep, I have a lot of pictures in my head but Im not sure if they are right ones I want to see. From my musical knowledge your production appears to be „very sad/dramatic“, this is not what I want/expect to hear in lo fi hip hop. Don’t get me wrong, the musicality is super intense and I like it, but you are on the wrong side in my opinion. This is not „chilled“. There is a certain lo fi feeling and vibe, but I’m really missing the boom bap hip hop, the drums are too straight, not enough hip hop vibe to my taste. I think you should take a closer look and listen to more sound examples. But the track sounds very solid overall.

Canese - in sepia swell
It has a chilled vibe, it sounds very atmospheric. The mix/master is pretty much squashed, you should check that again, and what I don’t like so much is the bass, generally in hip hop the bass is much more accentuated/staccato and very often you can hear a pure sine wave, in your case its a synth bass with long sustain. Maybe you should even lower the bass an octave to get that sub bass.
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Mister Fox
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Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC037 September 2020- Voting until 01-OCT-2020 23:59 UTC+2/CEST

#66

Post by Mister Fox »

A friendly reminder:
We're in the final 24 hours to submit some more constructive feedback and to cast your vote
functionform

Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC037 September 2020- Voting until 01-OCT-2020 23:59 UTC+2/CEST

#67

Post by functionform »

canese - In sepia swell
This sounds like your home base. Great guitar work and vibe right at the start. I love how it breaks open with a relaxing theme. Totally see this applying in a cool scene in a movie. You have a real interesting meeting point of epic and mellow here. Nice job.

Square - Finding my Footing
I like the boombap angle. The lead is and the bass tone seem to clash a little on my monitors. It's a jagged beat, but I really like the personality coming through here. Angular and jazzy. Second part sounds like a new song, but I don't mind. Nice bass sound in this section.

becsei_gyorgy - Faces Of Love
Warble and hiss - a bit over done but you play off it nicely when the beat kicks in. Good harmonic progression in the beat. Wish the anime ss had been a western, would've been perfect. Good guitar loops in the middle section and it moves into the next section smoothly. The hiss on the right side gets old around 2:30. Might've pulled back on that a bit and it goes the whole track. Great violin work in this section though. I think there's some weeding in this track to do (could've used a bit more dynamic out of the trumpet), but overall a really strong composition.

Mellow Browne - Like a friend
Like the crushed drums, very lofi to me. This is minimal dark and it draws you in immediately. I think the mix on the crash in the is a little harsh, but doesn't kill the mood for me. Great rapping and autotune. I would call this "more" than lo-fi, but it inherits all the nice character about it. Very nice track.

TrojakEW - Lone Wanderer
Boom bappy. I wouldn't call this the target genre, but it sounds great. Interesting there's another track with very forward brass that also sounds spaghetti western. I really like it when it gets nice and quiet and still has the beat going. It really pulled me in there. Very ominous vibe, but entrancing.

gruskada - Time to Love
100% target genre. I think anime girl would take a break and check out what song is playing. I like the guitar sound, and most important it blends into the beat instead of taking of away from it, which I think some other entries missed about the genre. Second section beautiful with the keys as well. Great example of less is more. I might be insane, but almost sounds like the time is a little off in some of the instruments - like going for a dilla vibe but not quite gelling the way it could. Still though, very nice.

Shea - My Lofi Sky
You hit that magical vibe where you don't even need the beat to feel it. 100% target genre. Guitars have great persence without being too bright, great mix, lots of presence. Love the filler fx and sounds. Restrained but pleasant stereo usage with the delays. Stays a little longer than it has to but great stuff.

Blang - Gloomy
Viiiibes. Another dead on target track. If this were on at some club I would be that drunk guy asking the dj who this is.
Love the vocals, just a great texture to have and the pianos deliver. Amazing nostalgia in this track, just great stuff.
Really beautiful.

GMoneh - Anxiety
Approaching hip hop, but not really landing it or the lo fi vibe. The piano and accompianment are musical, but are of a generic
sound approach, instead of pushing into a lofi or hip hop space. I can hear a very earnest attempt here and I think just more productions will produce tracks with string personality coming forward. I like the tension created in the outgoing minute or so of the song.

Leonard Bowman - Good Morning Dust
Great intro texture. Perfect rainy day music. Strongly within genre parameter but has its own personality completely. Drums are subdued, but not diminished, very smooth production there. I love this. The scratching sound is a great textural background, novel. The middle section definitely takes you somewhere. I like it when the riff starts up again without the beat - you still nod your head and thats a very good sign all the parts are in the right place. Amazing production quality here BD, nice job.

VCA-089 - I'm okay
Definitely not lo-fi hip hop, hah! I feel like I'm almost more in a city pop space, with a great jazzy and drum machine jam going on. Sounds effects really add to it, considering the intentionally sparse production. I enjoy it, don't think it was the target, but that doesn't take away much from it. It's got a good sense of where it wants to be, and sits comfortably there.

Olli H - Lo-Fi Feeling
It's the target genre, but I think it could use some more development in terms of breaking out of expectations. It has a hip hop beat, and it's produced accordingly, but I'm missing that one sound that really draws you in. I think there's space to be more courageous here, even in the mellow drama targeted for this month.

Double Tap - Pugin Boutique
I like the brushes, only track that used it this month I believe. Great mix here, but I wish the piano and guitar had a little more angle to them - they seem pretty straightforward. Beat production is nice and definitely in target space. Nice and sleepy track. I'm done studying I guess, time to relax!
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Shea

Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC037 September 2020- Voting until 01-OCT-2020 23:59 UTC+2/CEST

#68

Post by Shea »

Props to all that finished. Major props for being in genre. I did a short genre study before starting and seems others could have spent more time there. I am not a professional judge and giving technical feedback is not a strength of mine. I brought in another set of ears to help me so 2 for the price of 1 for you.

CANESE - "In Sepia Swell"
- Nice jazzy guitar. I like the dreamy intro. Nice transitions. Feels off from hitting the genre mark... not enough hip hop... lofi jazz?

SQUARE - "Finding My Footing"
- Mix has some issues, is a bit muddy. Maybe to much low end on reverb?... also lows/low-mids could use some cleaning. Not bad @ 1:32 when song shifts. Nice funky beat! I thought entry would have been better with leaving out everything before 1:32 and extended from there. Overall has plenty of hip hop vibe but not enough LOFIness

DOUBLE TAP - "Plugin Boutique"
- Sounds lofi and chill. Does not have much hip hop vibes going. Nice soundscape driving music. Beginning and end rhythmic crackle was cool but distracted from genre for me as it felt like EDM coming on. Nice guitar and keys. A little too constant. Kind of boring/lack of storyline.

OLLI H - "Lofi Feeling"
- Cools effects/stutter/transitions. Mix has excessive distortion (might be intentional but too much for me). Felt too classical... wanted more hip hop. The kick sounded more like an EDM kick than hip hop.

BECSEI GYORGY - "Faces of Love"
- Has good hip hop feel! Mixing needs work... song would be much better. Too much hiss. Interesting arrangement. When I listened past the mixing this song was more interesting and more in genre than others that had better mixes.

MELLOW BROWN - "Like a Friend"
- Nice hip hop beat! Nice lyrics and effects. Little repetitive. The drums have a nice lofi vibe but the instruments could have more. Was looking for more of an intro... too much too soon. Nice outro. Overall felt like hip hop but not enough lofi for me.

TROJAK EW - "Lone Wanderer"
- Interesting story/arrangement. Very cinematic. Nice use of space. Good instrument pairings and environmental sounds. Not enough lofi for me. Main synth needs work to shine.

GRUSKADA - "Time to Live"
- This song sounds slightly hip hop but mostly a jazzy feel to me. Good driving music. Nice instrument choices and melodies. Some transitions felt odd. Not enough lofi hip hop vibes.

FUNCTION FORM - "This to Shall Pass"
- Nice hip hop feel. I liked the call and response. Cool plucks. Nice use of space. Mix needs some help - excessive distortion. Overall very hip hop feel but could use more LOFIness.

BLANG - "Gloomy"
- Nice beat and groove. I liked the piano progression. Decent lofi feel. Beat felt too constant at times.

G MONEH - "Anxiety"
- Nice piano progressions. Lots of interesting sounds. Has an 80's vibe. Too much too soon. Didn't sound much like lofi hip hop. Mix needs work.

LEONARD BOWMAN - "Good Morning Dust"
- Nice intro. Immediate lofi feel. Interesting arrangement. Nice vibe. Little long in the middle when the beats drops out. Nice environmental sounds. Could use some further mixing - is a little noisy/cramped in spots.

VCA-089 - "Im Okay"
- Interesting environmental sounds. Nice 80's sounding drums. Song misses the genre goal. It has some nice lofi instrument sounds but drums lack hip hop vibe.
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Last edited by Shea on Fri Oct 02, 2020 18:47 CEST, edited 1 time in total.
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VCA-089
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Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC037 September 2020- Voting until 01-OCT-2020 23:59 UTC+2/CEST

#69

Post by VCA-089 »

My voting is finally done. Good luck to everyone.

1. canese - In Sepia Swell

+ The jazz guitar at the beginning is perfect.
+ Good atmosphere and mood.
+ Good mix with Lo-fi elements

- The arrangement feels a bit messy. The song starts on a great guitar solo, but than it goes into middle part with many melodic elements but without any distinctive "hook". Than there goes a sax solo but it feels like the player is not familliar with the song and trying to improvise on the fly.

- The overall composition feels like a constant chorus without any verses/breakdowns. It is more like a rough sketch than a finished song.

2. Square - Finding my Footing

+ This song has some cool sounding riffs and drums.

+/- Althrough this song has some interesting lo-fi effects they feel a bit "forced" and sometimes the lo-fi vibe disappears completely (when drums are out in second part)
+/- Two different themese in one short song perhaps not the bes decision, but they have something in common.

- Arrangement feels empty. There is a very little harmonic information (namely the chords) that is needed to set the mood.
- Composition lacks structure and development

3. Double Tap - Pugin Boutique

+ Very nice late evening backyard atmosphere. Perfect for chillout.
+ Good composition.
+ Good selection of instruments. Very mellow sounds that are not "in the face" which works for chilled vibe.

+/- I'm not sure if it is a Hip-Hop song, more like an instrumental pop. The vinyl sound feels synthetic, more like a looped sample.
+/- An interesting drums and percussion elements, but it feels a bit odd. The stick snare plays simultaneously with brushed snare and than there rimshot/electronic snare happening at the same time. Sounds like mixed samples from different drumkits om a pad controller.

4. Olli H - Lo-Fi Feeling

+ There is definetly a lo-fi feeling and interesting sound design elements.

+/- Perhaps the mood is too melancholic, if not to say depressive.
+/- A blend of classical and electric piano sounds interesting but not cohesive, like two musicians playing different songs in different styles.
+/- The composition is repeated, but there is some variations in melodies and phrases.

- Pretty rudimentary drums. A very little variations and only few instruments.

5. bescei_gyorgy - Faces of Love

+ This one feels like lo-fi hip-hop
+ Great atmosphere and mood.
+ A combination of lo-fi sounding acoustic instruments and synthesizers, I think it is what this genre is about.

+/- A nice touch with vocal samples, but sometimes it sounds too synthetic. Also, the speech with too clean delay sounds a bit distracting.
+/- Nice percussion elemnts and processing on drums, but the groove feels too simple and undeveloped.

6. Mellow Browne - Like a Friend

+ Nice groove.
+ The mood and instrument selection is suitable for chilled vibe.

+/- The drums feels like a half speed drumloop, which may be more suitable for vaporwave, but sounds good tho.

- Composition is too simple and feels too long.
- Vocal part gets repetitive and distracting pretty fast. It could be better with an instrumental solo/riff part.

7. TrojakEW - Lone

+ Great cinematic feel and atmosphere.
+ The lo-fi elements works well for the mood.
+ Composition and arrangement done well.
+ A signature overall production quality.

+/- Althrough this track stands out as a musical piece, it may not be perfect definition of a lo-fi hip-hop and the mood can be too dark for chillout/study/sleep. Actually, who knows? I remember doing my graduation work while listening to Doom 2016 soundtrack.

8. gruskada - Time to Love

+ Good selection of instruments.
+ Very interesting sound design elements, particularly manipulation with delays.
+ Great soloing.

- Pretty repetitive grooves.
- Some wierd panning of percussion elements, getting distracted after awhile.

9. Shea - My Lofi Sky

+ Very cool with that natural sounds and textures, they became a part of the groove.
+ Good selection of instruments and well played parts.
+ Good overall production.

+/- Feels a bit too long, but has a feel of progression and development though.
+/- Don't know about lo-fi. Sounds pretty tame, but at least feels like hip-hop.

10. functionform - This Too Shall Pass

+ An interesting stutter effects
+ It has some lo-fi vibe

+/- Guitar melody sounds cool, but could it be introduced earlier?

- The percussion section and groove is undeveloped.
- Overall composition feels too repetative.

11. Blang - Gloomy

+ It has some relaxed feel to it.

+/- Nice groove. Actually that little swingy moment in the intro could be more present in the other parts of the song.
+/- The background voices/sounds could be more upfront to make it sound a little bit fuller.

- Pretty undeveloped composition and arrangement. It was quite promising when piano changed key, but than it fell back to initial section.
- The piano performance and the beat doesn't sound natural together. It feels like listening two different songs on top of each other.

12. GMoneh (Xil Ara) - Anxiety

+ Good atmosphere and mood.
+ Good selection of instruments and arrangement.
+ Nice percussion elements and groove.

+/- Not pretty sure about lo-fi or even hip-hop elements.
+/- Composition feels a bit long, but has some structure to it.

13. Leonard Bowman (Benjamin D) - Good Morning Dust

+ Another good example of making foley sounds became a part of the groove.
+ Very good relaxed and dreamy feel to it. It's like doing your saturday home routine, but your mind is in another universe.
+ Instrument choices, arrangement and composition is perfect.
+ Good mix and overall production.

+/- Again about lo-fi and hip-hop topic, that feels like a curse to me already. I think it is a great musical track. Everything else is sideways.
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Blang
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Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC037 September 2020- Voting until 01-OCT-2020 23:59 UTC+2/CEST

#70

Post by Blang »

Good job peoples! Here is my, highly subjective, feedback.

Canese - In sepia swell
The composition, arrangement and sound and sounds feel very on point to me, but the mix style does fit the genre / purpose of the track; Which should be chill I think.
So I'm thinking more beat in relation to harmonic material. Most harmonic content is quite bright, steady and upfront (compressed) all the time, which makes it exciting but somewhat tiresome. Which is probably not what you would want for a chill-out track.

Feels like it could be longer (which is not a bad thing per se).


Square - Finding my Footing
Yay, wonky feel! I does its title justice :)

Wow, it seems like you made two tracks in a single track. The transition works but it really feels like a second track instead of a different part of the same musical work. So if you make eight more, you've got yerself an album :p

Funny combination of a quirky melody and chord progression against a very dark, gritty background/beat. The grittyness is a bit too much for me, and perhaps for the style. The constant subbass rumble, that stops around 1:30, makes it really pressing.

Thrashy and harsh; they contain mostly the same letters, but Lo-Fi hiphop may definitely sound trashy but is remains subdued. So watch out for too aggressive hi-end when mangling stuff like drums. Perhaps a de-esser or dynamic EQ could do the trick if you don't wanna go the regular old EQ route.


Double Tap - Pugin Boutique
Quite pleasant, relaxing organic, fat free. I would call it unplugged Li-Fi hiphop :D

The different rhythmic elements could lock in a bit more later in the track. When the 808 style hihat comes in around 1:30 the beat is super straight while the piano is more loose, which in combination with its rhythmic echo makes it a tiny bit messy sometimes.

Mix wise you could be more picky about which element should be lead in that makes. The piano seems like lead most of the time, but for example the stereo tremolo guitar 2:00 is a brighter than the piano which makes it feel closer. It's nice ear candy though.


OlliH - Lo-Fi-Feeling
Clear ideas composition and mix wise!
Beautiful theme, has an jazzy as well as a classical element to it.

I if had to nitpick (I have to), the beat could be bit more human to blend better with the piano. So some more velocity and timbres changes in the hihat and snare. You could take the snare sound two ways: more artificial, so it fits more with the kick or more realistic. Now it sorta hovers in the middle.

becsei_gyorgy - Faces Of Love
Warble warble. Nice, clear piano theme.

You're probably tired of reading this, but it has to be said: The high end noise / hiss on the right is kinda bugging me. The vinyl crackle and wow/flutter on piano is enough lofi for me.

Kick could use some low end. In some sections it might be nice to make the kick pattern
When the violin enters (2:00) I could have some bass. Or if you prefer it bassless, also cut low end on the kick and perhaps keys.


MellowBrowne - LikeAFriend
Nice groove!
Oooh, vocals. Hmmm, in the first part they take me out of the chill zone, but the repetition in the auto-tune part makes it more of an instrument so it does grab too much attention (that's good!). But enough attention to notice that you thought about this months theme. :)
Sexy subtle bass. Especially like how it enters
The ride sticks out bit too much. Its such a relief when it gets filtered. In the final part it sits better in the mix because the vocal also has hi-end information. so automation the hi-end would prob be best.


TrojakEW - Lone Wanderer
Epic, but with a definite hip hop beat, interesting. However, when the beat is not there it feels more like a film score to me than lofi hiphop. The ending makes the story a whole, but for this months brief I don't think fits.
Nice trumpet line. I think it would be nice if it were quite a bit darker (and perhaps less distorted and warbled).

Gruskada - TimeToLive
Piano is not really grooving with the beat. Perhaps delay the whole track quite a bit (30-40ms). Lowering the velocity on the piano will make it blend more the mellower rest of the track.
At 2:40 the timing of bell lead is what takes me out of the track.

Shea - MyLofiSky
Lovely timbre on the piano! I'm interested to know how you processed it.
Timing of the electric guitar(mainly the first on the right) is the main thing that can be improved in this track. Putting them all about 20ms later would probably already give a nice result.
Micro thingy: at 1:47 the guitars make a parallel movement (fourths I believe), which transport me instantly to somewhere in Asia, but the rest is more bluesy. This shift in vibe might be something you want.


functionform - This Too Shall Pass
It grooves and chills. The main hook (rhodes?), the one that plays C - D, is a bit loud / aggressive (2-3kHz) in relation to the rest.
The electric guitar is scarishly clean for me. A clean Fender type amp and cabinet sim could be nice to round it off a bit. Cory Wongs guitar sound might be an inspiration here, for example in Vulfpeck's - Smile Meditation.

GMoneh - Anxiety
Quite epic. Perhaps a tad dramatic for the genre, but you can chill to it.
If you want to make it more subdued, lowering the velocity of the piano would do a great deal I think. The rhythm of the outro piano theme could be a bit tighter.
There were two rhythmic changes that took me out of the chill zone around 0:55 and 2:00. Did it make me... anxious? Yes, slightly :p
Kick is quite clicky when the arrangement is sparse, for example around 2:40.
It flows nicely the whole way through!


LeonardBowman - Good morning dust
Lovely laidback lullaby like hiphop. That's a lot of 'L's but I mean them all!
Could perhaps do with a melody / hook around 2:10. It becomes a bit more 'ambient' at that stage and tension is rising. Too much tension for my chilling tastes though. The breakdown seems long. We wants that beat back!

VCA-089 - I'm Okay
I especially like the piano; the sound, placement in the mix and how it smoothly glides over those fancy chords. The bassline seems to have very different vibe than the rest of the song. It's very precise, electric and persistent on those few notes it plays. I would have like a more natural, mellow bass sound and feel. Turning the bass down and making it duller would go a long way already. To me it's kinda the lead now.
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