2024-MAR-01 Info: Check out Songwriting Competition 079 if you're into "Synthwave" music making.

SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC067 March 2023 - Winners announced

Thematic Songwriting Competition - recurrence: monthly
EsteveCorbera
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Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC067 March 2023 - Winners announced

#121

Post by EsteveCorbera »

Congrats to the winners!!! And the others too!!
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KukoBass
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Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC067 March 2023 - Voting until 01-APR-2023 23:59 UTC+2/CEST

#122

Post by KukoBass »

Congrats to the winners and all other competitors, well done :tu:

I am very happy with all of your feedback, it will help me a lot to improve my writing and producing.

juhu wrote:
Sat Mar 25, 2023 16:54 CET
Stylistically speaking, it’s not far off from being easily transformable into a Progressive Rock version, should the author want to go there.
Though I grew up with a lot of Progrock, I did not occur to me that this composition could be a Progrock-Song. I'm curious how you would go on to do so.

juhu wrote:
Sat Mar 25, 2023 16:54 CET
Timing and velocities of the drum hits are just a tiny bit inconsistent enough to distract the listener occasionally.
True. The original MIDI loop was 85 bpm, my song was 77 bpm, so that the little timing shifts got bigger.
I should have quantized the loops about 70 % - 80 %.

juhu wrote:
Sat Mar 25, 2023 16:54 CET
The high-pitched bells / chimes have super-sharp transients poking through the mix.
JeroenZuiderwijk wrote:
Sun Mar 26, 2023 00:23 CET
The xylophone is a bit harsh in my ears
This is problematic for me because I obviously can't trust my ears with the high frequencies anymore. As I got some high frequency tinnitus on both ears, to me the transients weren't too sharp, but this issue was brought up in many feedbacks. I'll have to find a way to work around this.

JeroenZuiderwijk wrote:
Sun Mar 26, 2023 00:23 CET
Reminds me of a Nick Cave song. ... It is a sad sounding but also catchy song.
canese wrote:
Mon Apr 03, 2023 00:07 CEST
I like the melancolic feeling I get and to my memory comes some portishead.
Thank you. I feel honored!

becsei_gyorgy wrote:
Sun Mar 26, 2023 15:10 CEST
1. The opening vocal lines are a bit shy, you need reverb/delay and sidechain to be clearly heard/understood. On the other hand, later it suddenly becomes much louder (1:02-). A vocal rider, EQ, Dyn EQ (+Sidechain), DeEsser, Compressor - they should all help you with the song.
2. The music box has sharp frequencies that need to be suppressed (Dyn EQ, Soothe). They are too sharp and not good for the melancholic mood either. It is also a few decibels too loud in some parts, it should sound a bit more discreetly in the background (it would strengthen the melancholy better).
Jorgeelalto wrote:
Tue Mar 28, 2023 23:09 CEST
... And it sounds a bit dry too, like it's in your face while the rest of the track is a bit further away.
Mellow Browne wrote:
Fri Mar 31, 2023 14:54 CEST
Your vocals are very quiet in the beginning and become significantly louder @ 01:00. First, they are too quiet, then they are too loud for my taste and they become a bit boomy (proximity effect?) and they have a weird stereo/chorus effect, which I find very wide in the stereo field.
Mellow Browne wrote:
Fri Mar 31, 2023 14:54 CEST
#
And the voice is very good for the song you do, but it's too close, a bit of reverb or delay to give it depth would have been good.
canese wrote:
Mon Apr 03, 2023 00:07 CEST
But it lacks of processing, maybe some EQ: cutting the low-mids and adding some brightness. Compression also will help, because some words are very loud compare to other ones. And an autotune doesn't hurt if it's subtle.
As I haven't worked with vocals much, I have no idea how to treat them properly. All your feedback is very helpful for me.
Mellow Browne wrote:
Fri Mar 31, 2023 14:54 CEST
One thing I find very annoying is that bell pluck melody over your chord progression. First time I listened to your entry I thought you used some kind of ping pong ball effect. The attack of that bell melody sounds like a ping pong ball to my ears, it is very clicky.
EsteveCorbera wrote:
Sat Apr 01, 2023 01:16 CEST
The bells look good, but maybe a little bright.
OrpheusXL wrote:
Sat Apr 01, 2023 23:10 CEST
For the melody part it could gain with another instrument replacing the bell sounds.
Audiothing's "Pong Glockenspiel" is indeed exactly that: A Glockenspiel, played with ping pong balls. I guess it was mixed too loud or needed some equalization to tame the harsh tones. Or maybe I will experiment with a different instrument for this part.

madmax wrote:
Sat Apr 01, 2023 21:17 CEST
I would put side by side singing and narrative voice, believe me, it’s amazing thing.
Good idea, I will for sure experiment with this in a future contest!


So once more thank you all for your feedback and encouragement. You rock! :hail:
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