2024-MAY-01 Info: Check out our current running Songwriting Competition 081 - which offers an interesting twist and a focus on sound design.

SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC076 December 2023 - Winners announced

Thematic Songwriting Competition - recurrence: monthly
Post Reply
Mellow Browne
Posts: 93
Joined: Tue Nov 13, 2018 20:54 CET
Location: Freiburg, Germany

Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC076 December 2023 - Voting until 03-JAN-2024 23:59 UTC+1/CET

#61

Post by Mellow Browne »

Hello,

Edit: I forgot to copy the complete feedback, one participant was missing. :face: I apologise.

This month I learned the importance of the key of a song when composing. At a certain point I was looking if I could transpose the song because the lowest bass note I used was a Bb 0 and I couldn’t really hear/feel that note. But the vibe was totally gone in another key so I decided to keep and concentrate on the sound design and mixing of that bass sound to compensate the lack of energy down there. It was challenging but at the end I’m happy with the result.

Here is my feedback, and please, don’t take it personal, it is just the way I personally „feel“ and see music. I really love tension and release from strong chord progressions and voicings, melody is definitely not the main thing which drives me. I need a certain feel and vibe when listening to music and not a melody I can whistle or hum. Give me chords and I create my own melody if needed.
So, here we go:
► Show Spoiler


My voting:
► Show Spoiler
1ktone

Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC076 December 2023 - Voting until 03-JAN-2024 23:59 UTC+1/CET

#62

Post by 1ktone »

Hi everyone,

I'm going to get this post done today. I enjoyed creating a composition around the theme of lights. My own process tends to be one where I don't think too hard about the technical aspects and I just start writing with a sound that inspires me in the moment. Then I just see where it takes me. For this particular competition piece I wrote it in an afternoon, after considering the theme for a couple of days. I was reminded here that I work better when I don't think too hard over what I'm trying to do.

I listened to everyone's tracks and I have written a note about each one. In general I liked every track for what they were and it was difficult a) to get too critical and b) to pick a clear top 7. Hopefully I didn't use the word "nice" too many times. It's interesting giving comments to people you've never met or really know anything about. I could have pretty much placed everyone into the top 7 - I just ran out of spots too quickly.

My listening notes:
► Show Spoiler
My votes:
► Show Spoiler
User avatar
A Future in Noise
Song Provider
Song Provider
Posts: 291
Joined: Wed Nov 07, 2018 09:26 CET
Location: Stockholm, Sweden
Contact:

Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC076 December 2023 - Voting until 03-JAN-2024 23:59 UTC+1/CET

#63

Post by A Future in Noise »

Mellow Browne wrote:
Fri Dec 29, 2023 02:01 CET
Very unusual chord progression and melody structure overall ...
Thanks. Because I really try to avoid writing songs that are built according to formula 1A. Hopefully it's the chord progression in the first chorus you think of (?) It looks like this:

| E minor | B major | E minor, C major | A minor, D major | G major | C major | C major | B major | E minor | C major | E minor | E minor | = 12 measures

Without having any evidence for it, I would also say that it is unusual, but still I succeed - in my own opinion - in placing a melody line on top of it that makes the whole thing sound natural (despite the unusual chord progression).

The really unusual part probably comes in the extended choruses II and III (?) I'm not sure I want to keep that "coda" (chorus-coda). There was very little time at the end.
EsteveCorbera
Posts: 173
Joined: Mon Oct 19, 2020 23:53 CEST
Location: Catalunya

Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC076 December 2023 - Voting until 03-JAN-2024 23:59 UTC+1/CET

#64

Post by EsteveCorbera »

Good night,

It is surprising how many different subjects we can make from the same image. Imagination has no limits. It's cool to see how we each do something personal.

I learned this month that I still have to keep learning. Seeing the reviews and ratings so far makes me see that I still have a lot to improve. I like this challenge precisely because of this.
Other things I've learned, tried or developed this month making my song: Use the equalizer to isolate sounds, use rhythms and fills, use percussion to give emotion...

Thanks.

I will give you some brief comments.


Api_ZZ__LightsInOddMeters
You create a sound environment rather than a song with an oriental touch. The percussion seems to go one way and the rest the other. Perhaps a more catchy melody is missing. But it's not a bad approach. As I listen to it more times I find it more interesting.
There is a small moment that the signal level is too strong and saturates/distorts.

KukoBass__Festive_Lights_v7
Very beginning of Christmas. But when the guitars come in, they sound too distant from my humble point of view. Good song, simple as you say, but very good.
There are some instruments (clarinet?) that sound very artificial, they don't seem to be played by a real instrument, they sound very much like they are played by a keyboard.

VCA-089__Lights
Wow!!!
Good experimentation. good mix
I don't have much more to add. Maybe I would need a more consistent melody, but that's a matter of taste.

colorado weeks__LEDs
Correct song, with airs of the 80s. Maybe a little conventional, not original for my taste.
But I like the lyrics of the song. I find the hearts very beautiful.
good mix

DocJon__ChristmasLights
As always a surprising song for being synthetic voices. You have a lot of skill with this.
The song this time lacks a bit of explosion. I listened to it and waited for a great chorus that didn't quite arrive.
At the mixing level, for my taste the vocals are too bright and have too much delay. The 's' sounds too strong.

MSGsaltsweet__Lights
Original proposal. There aren't usually songs like that out there.
From my point of view, little expert in this type of music, the piano rhythm ends up being too repetitive. But I can't say much more, because I don't quite understand your topic.
Question: Why did you put some tomatoes in your theme image?

Arelem_Spotlight
I've already told you in other months: The theme is your style. Original if we take into account the image proposed by Mister Fox. I can't imagine such a type of music. But it's good to have such different approaches.
But as always, good job. Sophisticated treatment of voices. Maybe they are a little difficult to follow, for those of us who do not speak English.
The reverb beat you put underneath it might be getting too repetitive.

Brandon__BrokenLights
Song with traditional airs, with a country touch (?). I find the beginning too long and the theme too repetitive, and the final part sounds too contrasted with the opening part, but it is the most interesting part. I like the guitars in this part. And curiously, this part is short.

becsei_gyorgy__TheLightsOfChristmas
What a cool piece!!!
It transmits Christmas magic. Total!!! Spectacular!!!
As a comment I would say that the voices are too buried. They should be given more prominence from my point of view.
I like the use of the orchestra, the cinematic percussion, the bells, the voices...
Really good!!

merci_ferdi__Magic_Lamps
Original song, different from what usually sounds. We don't usually hear songs in French.
Good job with the vocals, with that stereo expansion and the delays. Perhaps the instrumental part is too focused, not very panoramic.
Welcome to the challenge!!

Lady Incognita - Kiss me under Starry Skies
Good vocal performance. Nice instrumentation underneath and interesting effects.
Maybe it's a feeling of mine, but I don't quite understand it's the percussion part. It sounds out of place to me, like it's out of tune with the song. It's probably because I don't know how to appreciate it.

1ktone__the_Infinite_Light
I like this electronic style, but few things happen for my taste. It ends up being too long, I don't like it. After a while I already disconnected.
Maybe you could lower the level of that infinite arpeggio/sequence and give more prominence to the ambient sounds, which is where the most interest is.
You could normalize the levels to get closer to those proposed by Mister Fox.

JeroenZuiderwijk__LightsDancingInTheNightSky
I don't know how to define your topic. I like the sound environment you create but I don't like the aggressive percussion, I guess it's a matter of taste.
I don't have much more to say, I don't connect with your topic.

Mellow_Browne__Liquid_Flux
Another issue I can't connect to. It is well done but I see this style of music very far from what I imagine with the image of Mister Fox.
After several listens, I find it very repetitive.

aFutureInNoise__AvenuesFullOfLights
The voices are correct. The instrumentation below. Very good mix. The sound of the track is fine, I don't notice any flaws, as you say. I'm listening to it with headphones and I put the track directly in the DAW (Reason) because that way I can hear it with the ASIO driver.

(translated with google)
► Show Spoiler
EsteveCorbera
Posts: 173
Joined: Mon Oct 19, 2020 23:53 CEST
Location: Catalunya

Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC076 December 2023 - Voting until 03-JAN-2024 23:59 UTC+1/CET

#65

Post by EsteveCorbera »

Mellow Browne wrote:
Fri Dec 29, 2023 02:01 CET

EsteveCorbera
What I like about this entry is the shuffle groove somewhere in the middle of the song. But it feels very disconnected to the rest of the instrumentation and groove especially @ 02:43 (chord switch on beat 13/14). In my opinion this sounds like random music (no offense) with no real goal or intention, emotionally it stays in this everlasting build up of friendly chords(all white keys), there is no real tension and release and I can’t find a clear structure. Overall I would recommend you to have a look @ something like Scaler2 or similar to make your music more interesting and playful. I have already noticed this in previous entries.
Thanks for your comments. You are right!
I need to learn more music theory.
I improvise with the MIDI keyboard and then I make arrangements that sound good to me, but I still can't find the depth you're talking about.

Thanks
User avatar
Mister Fox
Site Admin
Site Admin
Posts: 3125
Joined: Fri Mar 31, 2017 16:15 CEST
Location: Berlin, Germany

Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC076 December 2023 - Voting until 03-JAN-2024 23:59 UTC+1/CET

#66

Post by Mister Fox »

A Future in Noise wrote:
Thu Dec 28, 2023 16:47 CET
I'm sorry to call your attention like this, @Mister Fox, over the weekend, but this is one thing I'm having a hard time trying to push aside:
Apologies for the late response. However, to address your concerns....

I don't hear the "treble" from the guitar going away ever so often -- if anything, it is a bit too much and the general mix of your song could definitely see some work. So chances are, your Laptop output might have some issues after all.
User avatar
Mister Fox
Site Admin
Site Admin
Posts: 3125
Joined: Fri Mar 31, 2017 16:15 CEST
Location: Berlin, Germany

SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC076 December 2023 - Voting until 03-JAN-2024 23:59 UTC+1/CET

#67

Post by Mister Fox »

Quick update:
This is especially important for new participants.

Please adhere to the given Rules and Guidelines. Your only criteria to be disqualified, is by not participating with the feedback / voting process. So please add feedback to at least 7 entries (or more, if you want to collect more bonus points) and also reflect on your experience this month. (especially directed at @msgsaltsweet)

Please also try to provide more than just "great song, I like it" and then just move on. This part of the game is all about receiving constructive feedback what to look out for and/or maybe improve upon. Especially now that you heard the final version of each song.


Including today, there are still 5 days left for that endeavor. Please edit/update your posts.
Thank you.
1ktone

Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC076 December 2023 - Voting until 03-JAN-2024 23:59 UTC+1/CET

#68

Post by 1ktone »

@Mister Fox in follow up to this last post of yours..do I need to be more critical? I suggested a couple of things here and there, but I'm concerned that I haven't been critical enough overall judging by what you're saying.
msgsaltsweet
Posts: 7
Joined: Mon Dec 18, 2023 01:34 CET

Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC076 December 2023 - Voting until 03-JAN-2024 23:59 UTC+1/CET

#69

Post by msgsaltsweet »

.
Last edited by msgsaltsweet on Mon Feb 12, 2024 09:03 CET, edited 1 time in total.
Mellow Browne
Posts: 93
Joined: Tue Nov 13, 2018 20:54 CET
Location: Freiburg, Germany

Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC076 December 2023 - Voting until 03-JAN-2024 23:59 UTC+1/CET

#70

Post by Mellow Browne »

A Future in Noise wrote:
Fri Dec 29, 2023 13:54 CET
Mellow Browne wrote:
Fri Dec 29, 2023 02:01 CET
Very unusual chord progression and melody structure overall ...
Thanks. Because I really try to avoid writing songs that are built according to formula 1A. Hopefully it's the chord progression in the first chorus you think of (?) It looks like this:

| E minor | B major | E minor, C major | A minor, D major | G major | C major | C major | B major | E minor | C major | E minor | E minor | = 12 measures

Without having any evidence for it, I would also say that it is unusual, but still I succeed - in my own opinion - in placing a melody line on top of it that makes the whole thing sound natural (despite the unusual chord progression).

The really unusual part probably comes in the extended choruses II and III (?) I'm not sure I want to keep that "coda" (chorus-coda). There was very little time at the end.
I just played around with Scaler to get a better understanding of what is going on here and it is definitely that extended chorus thing which is unusual + that 12 beat measurement, and now I can understand your entry much better than before. :gotidea:

My first instinct was that after the G major chord it has to come "home" like the following:
- Amin (v) I Dmaj (I) I Gmaj (IV) I Gmin6 (iv) I Dmaj (I) in another voicing than the one I Dmaj chord before.

It is also possible to swap the Gmin6 with a D#dim (or even Dmaj/F#) end the progression on a E min chord.
It does sound natural and the melody fits well. Thanks for providing the chords!
Post Reply