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Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC076 December 2023 - Voting until 03-JAN-2024 23:59 UTC+1/CET

Posted: Sat Dec 30, 2023 13:42 CET
by A Future in Noise
Mellow Browne wrote:
Sat Dec 30, 2023 12:29 CET
My first instinct was that after the G major chord it has to come "home" like the following:
- Amin (v) I Dmaj (I) I Gmaj (IV) I Gmin6 (iv) I Dmaj (I) in another voicing than the one I Dmaj chord before.

It is also possible to swap the Gmin6 with a D#dim (or even Dmaj/F#) end the progression on a E min chord.
It does sound natural and the melody fits well. Thanks for providing the chords!
Thanks for providing me with alternatives to my chord progression. I will take a closer look, and listen, as soon as I get time. (What if in the future, when I re-mix, I am influenced by your suggestions and thoughts?)

SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC076 December 2023 - Voting until 03-JAN-2024 23:59 UTC+1/CET

Posted: Sat Dec 30, 2023 17:44 CET
by Mister Fox
1ktone wrote:
Sat Dec 30, 2023 10:13 CET
@Mister Fox in follow up to this last post of yours..do I need to be more critical? I suggested a couple of things here and there, but I'm concerned that I haven't been critical enough overall judging by what you're saying.
I just read through your feedback. And yes, it is in places quite generalized and "I like this song". I can do no such thing as enforce people to be more critical, only encourage this type of feedback towards those tracks that you might think could see an improvement.

This is why it is part of the game -- sometimes a second pair of ears hears something that you don't. And this is especially of interest for not as skilled musicians that do not have a certain style and workflow already. We're all here to learn and improve.


Keep up the good work, everyone! :educate:

Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC076 December 2023 - Voting until 03-JAN-2024 23:59 UTC+1/CET

Posted: Sat Dec 30, 2023 18:42 CET
by A Future in Noise
Reflections:
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Voting:
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Feedback:
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Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC076 December 2023 - Voting until 03-JAN-2024 23:59 UTC+1/CET

Posted: Sat Dec 30, 2023 19:32 CET
by colorado weeks
so normally i don't do replies to these things, but i feel like this needs to be said:
A Future in Noise wrote:3:43 the word 'say' (it's a #D) is very low for a woman to sing, and maybe you should have rewritten instead of letting some kind of algorithm pitch down? (Or is it actually you singing?)
yeah that's my voice! i've got a medical condition that allows me to sing comfortably down to about a D3, amid some other (rather unfortunate) side-effects. that aside, since it does reach the limits of my range, i'll definitely consider rewriting the melody when i've got a chance to revisit this track.

my feedback will be out soon, i've got about 5 more to go!

Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC076 December 2023 - Voting until 03-JAN-2024 23:59 UTC+1/CET

Posted: Sat Dec 30, 2023 20:11 CET
by A Future in Noise
colorado weeks wrote:
Sat Dec 30, 2023 19:32 CET
yeah that's my voice! i've got a medical condition that allows me to sing comfortably down to about a D3 ...
Oh, I suffer from another endocrine disorder: Secondary Adrenal Insufficiency. Luckily there are pills to compensate for the lack of cortisol. (Like if you have Addison's disease.)

Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC076 December 2023 - Voting until 03-JAN-2024 23:59 UTC+1/CET

Posted: Sat Dec 30, 2023 22:09 CET
by Lady Incognita
colorado weeks wrote:
Sat Dec 30, 2023 19:32 CET
so normally i don't do replies to these things, but i feel like this needs to be said:
A Future in Noise wrote:3:43 the word 'say' (it's a #D) is very low for a woman to sing, and maybe you should have rewritten instead of letting some kind of algorithm pitch down? (Or is it actually you singing?)
yeah that's my voice! i've got a medical condition that allows me to sing comfortably down to about a D3, amid some other (rather unfortunate) side-effects. that aside, since it does reach the limits of my range, i'll definitely consider rewriting the melody when i've got a chance to revisit this track.

my feedback will be out soon, i've got about 5 more to go!
Just saw this and wanted to add my 2 cents. I think this is maybe more of a subjective call. I personally for example have no issues with the word 'say' at 3:43. It sounds very natural and in her voice and rather characterful to me. The note choice also sounds natural to me within the melody phrasing.
I personally wouldn't change it, but if Colorado feels like changing it, maybe changing it from D# to A# would work, but I honestly like it as it is, and she hits that D# elsewhere too, so I think it all fits together. Again, just my 2 cents... 😊

Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC076 December 2023 - Voting until 03-JAN-2024 23:59 UTC+1/CET

Posted: Sat Dec 30, 2023 22:31 CET
by becsei_gyorgy
Lady Incognita wrote:
Sat Dec 30, 2023 22:09 CET
colorado weeks wrote:
Sat Dec 30, 2023 19:32 CET
so normally i don't do replies to these things, but i feel like this needs to be said:
A Future in Noise wrote:3:43 the word 'say' (it's a #D) is very low for a woman to sing, and maybe you should have rewritten instead of letting some kind of algorithm pitch down? (Or is it actually you singing?)
yeah that's my voice! i've got a medical condition that allows me to sing comfortably down to about a D3, amid some other (rather unfortunate) side-effects. that aside, since it does reach the limits of my range, i'll definitely consider rewriting the melody when i've got a chance to revisit this track.

my feedback will be out soon, i've got about 5 more to go!
Just saw this and wanted to add my 2 cents. I think this is maybe more of a subjective call. I personally for example have no issues with the word 'say' at 3:43. It sounds very natural and in her voice and rather characterful to me. The note choice also sounds natural to me within the melody phrasing.
I personally wouldn't change it, but if Colorado feels like changing it, maybe changing it from D# to A# would work, but I honestly like it as it is, and she hits that D# elsewhere too, so I think it all fits together. Again, just my 2 cents... 😊
I started listening to the songs this afternoon, each song several times in a row and I can only agree. My favorite vocal part of the song is the part from 3:36-3:57 and I think it sounds absolutely right. I also think it's subjective and there's no need to change that sound either.

Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC076 December 2023 - Voting until 03-JAN-2024 23:59 UTC+1/CET

Posted: Sun Dec 31, 2023 02:29 CET
by colorado weeks
great tracks everybody! congrats on making it to the end of the month! this month was extremely stacked, and voting on a top seven was no easy feat.

my experience:
compared to the last time i participated in SWC, this was a much trickier go.
i generally start with a catchy chorus and try to fit the verses to whatever i was singing.
this proved to be rather difficult. i knew i wanted it to be a holiday-themed song, but i was vacillating between a heartbreak song or a song exploring loss of religious faith. while i eventually went the "heartbreak" route (largely due to time constraints,) a line in the "loss of faith" verse was what ultimately inspired the lyrics in the bridge.

ultimately, my priority for songwriting tends to be: lyrics, melody, arrangement, mixing/mastering, in that order. as such, it's interesting to see how the bridge and the story of the lyrics have been interpreted by y'all! this is an open question to all of you if you're reading this wall-of-text: i intended this to be a song about a husband ending an affair with a lover to go back to his wife. this is of course, sung from the lover's perspective. does this come through well enough when going over the lyrics? if it does, is it too on the nose? if it doesn't, do you have any suggestions to make this more apparent?

producing the song was its own challenge. after producing an 80's-inspired city pop track for another community challenge, i wanted to explore what made 80's synthpop what it was. my musical inspiration for this track was "Last Christmas" by Wham! while i think i may have missed the mark in some respects, it truly was a great learning experience, and i learned quite a lot from it.

i am thankful to merci ferdi, KukoBass, Doc Jon, and msgsaltsweet for their pre-vote feedback. your suggestions really helped to elevate this track!

feedback:
i'm currently on vacation right now, so i listened to all of your tracks on a pair of Sennheiser HD 598SR headphones through my laptop's headphone jack. that being said, please take my feedback with a grain of salt!
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Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC076 December 2023 - Voting until 03-JAN-2024 23:59 UTC+1/CET

Posted: Tue Jan 02, 2024 00:58 CET
by Doc Jon
Mellow Browne wrote:
Fri Dec 29, 2023 02:01 CET
I feel like the lyrics are ai-generated. It has to do with the cadence and flow, the rhythmic does not sound human to my ears. But I could be wrong and I certainly don’t want to offend you
I feel I need to point out that all the lyrics were 100% my own work, no AI involved whatsoever - in fact I was rather pleased with them!! :lol:

Re: SONGWRITING COMPETITION - SWC076 December 2023 - Voting until 03-JAN-2024 23:59 UTC+1/CET

Posted: Tue Jan 02, 2024 11:23 CET
by Mellow Browne
A Future in Noise wrote:
Sat Dec 30, 2023 18:42 CET
Why are there two different keyboards at the beginning; one with significantly more distorted sound than the other? (Or sometimes slow attack?)
It's because I added an automation track of Cableguys Halftime throughout the whole track and blended it with the original piano chords which creates this effect of 2 layers.
colorado weeks wrote:
Sun Dec 31, 2023 02:29 CET
i think the achilles heel of this entry is the lack of variation in velocity with the drums. this is most apparent in the hi-hats around 1:00 where they're kind of machine gun-y. even if these are drum machine samples, they do need some sort of swing or human element with them.
Well, there is some velocity variation with the kick and the hi-hat but apparently it was not enough and too subtle. I thought about automated panning for the hi-hat but I forgot to implement it. But you're absolutely right, I should've tried to get more swing feeling into the hats.
Doc Jon wrote:
Tue Jan 02, 2024 00:58 CET
I feel I need to point out that all the lyrics were 100% my own work, no AI involved whatsoever - in fact I was rather pleased with them!! :lol:
Ooops :oops: , well, then I'm very sorry for assuming this.